Renowned actress Jackie Matubia has candidly shared her tumultuous childhood journey, shedding light on the emotional scars she has carried from her upbringing.
In a deeply personal interview in Lessons at 30 with Dr.Ofweneke, Jackie recounted her struggles with rejection, culture shock, and a strained relationship with her mother, which she admits shaped her into the person she is today.
Jackie revealed that her early years were marked by rejection, starting from the day she was born.
Her mother gave birth to her at Pumwani Hospital, but upon seeing her, allegedly fled, leaving Jackie in the hospital for three months without a name.
“My mum went to Pumwani hospital and gave birth to me and when she saw me cause I was a dark child with a lot of hair akaona amezaa a monster”
“And when my aunties came to see me in the hospital they were like you have given birth to a very ugly kid and that’s when my mum alitoroka”
“It’s like I was born into rejection,” she said, adding that the trauma stayed with her throughout her life.
Jacki Matubia’s childhood was divided between living with her father in London for six years and then returning to Kenya, where the stark contrast in lifestyles left her feeling lost and confused.
Jackie Matubia described the move back to the Kenyan ghetto of “Ungwaro” as a culture shock.
“In London, I was homeschooled, eating fried chicken, living a comfortable life. Then I came back to a bedsitter my mum had divided with a curtain. I couldn’t understand why my dad, who was financially well-off, would let me live like this.”
The adjustment was made even harder by the stark differences between her schoolmates’ lives and her own.
Her father continued to pay for expensive schools, placing her alongside children from affluent neighborhoods like Lavington and Westlands.
“They were being dropped off by drivers, having fancy lunches, and I was carrying tea in a bottle and eating ugali and milk at night,” Jackie shared.
Feeling out of place, Jackie admitted to being a “weird” child who struggled to connect with others. Her anger and confusion manifested in troubling ways, including isolating herself and lashing out.
“I once cut a classmate’s hair just because she had long natural hair,” she recalled.
Jackie explained that her relationship with her mother remained strained for much of her childhood.
“For me personally, I hated my mother. I questioned why she brought me into this world to suffer.”
The lack of communication between her parents who still do not speak to each other to this day added to her feelings of rejection and confusion.
However, Jackie credits her high school experience at Gathirimu High School for helping her find healing and a sense of belonging.
Despite being placed in the school as a form of punishment, she found solace in the shared struggles of her peers.
“In that school, we were all equal. No one brought food from home; we all ate the same meals. It’s where I learned Swahili, Kikuyu, and, most importantly, how to open up to people,” she said.
Jackie’s transformation began when she realized that her challenges were not unique.
Listening to her classmates’ stories of hardship gave her a new perspective on her life.
“I realized I wasn’t alone. Some of them preferred being at school because it was safer than being at home. That’s when I started letting go of the resentment I had toward my mother.”
Now at 34, Jackie Matubia continues to navigate the effects of her childhood, including lingering feelings of rejection.
The actress also acknowledges her mother’s efforts to stand up for her in key moments, such as insisting she attend a school that matched her academic performance rather than one chosen solely for its prestige.
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