Dear men, here's how to spot the type of woman who'll cheat on you

for Tv47 Digital March 03, 2023, 09:32 AM
An illustration of a cheating woamn.
An illustration of a cheating woman. PHOTO/iSTOCK

There are five key tell-tale categories of a woman who will cheat in a relationship. 

Counselling psychologist and relationships expert Benjamin Zulu says these are: The materialist,  The impatient one, The Attention Addict, The Attention Starved, and The Retracted. 

Zulu says the materialist "has a strong hunger for the finer life but without the work ethic to get it for herself or with her man." 

Benjamin Zulu, Counselling psychologist  and author. PHOTO | FACEBOOK

"It will only take another man dangling the items she's obsessed with in her eyes and she will do anything to get them," adds Zulu, author of How To Recognise and Deal with Toxic Relationships. "This type doesn't necessarily cheat for sexual reasons but for a materialistic reason.

The materialist will gravitate towards a lover who can afford her a Louis Vuitton lifestyle. And then some. PHOTO | REUTERS

"She may not like those other guys, or even be unsatisfied at home. She just cannot resist someone who is ready to give her the money or the car she so badly wants." 

This category describes the Instagram/TikTok class that gyrates its hips for attention and 'Likes'. 

The relationship coach says the materialists fall for older men, younger men or even other women "as long as they're dishing out good money."

"Just to be clear, there's no problem with wanting good things, and in fact you should get yourself a woman with a sense of class. The difference is that she should be willing to work and build alongside you for those things. The toxic trait is when she wants things without the readiness to get them ethically." 

The impatient one 

She cannot endure the suffering of slow growth. She may not be greedy for quick gains but the step-by-step ascension is just too painful for her. She decides that you're not giving her the life and she looks outward for someone who is 'already there.'

A model illustrates an impatient woman. PHOTO | COURTESY

 In her mind, marriage means trading her feminity for the good life, not building it with her husband. 

The Attention Addict

She doesn't stop flirting with men even after she's got you. She doesn't leave dating sites even after you've agreed to settle. She doesn't delete her exes. She still posts very provocative things on her timelines and you can see her relish the attention from men. 

A model demonstrates attention addiction. PHOTO | PEXEL

This doesn't mean that a sincere woman disconnects from all social media or shuts down all online interactions after finding her man.

The Attention Starved

Even if you have the most virtuous and principled woman, if you keep her starved of attention with time she will drift away to someone else who lavishes her with it. This is how women cheat with men far beneath them socially. He gave her the right kind of attention when she was deprived at home. 

Women need attention to feel seen and loved, says Zulu. PHOTO | PEXEL

Understand this; unlike men, women need attention to feel seen and loved. What sex is to men is what attention is to women. Yes, good women can cheat when treated badly. 

The Retracted

While she swears how much she loves, still she seems ambiguous about showing you to her circles. She wants to keep you a secret. She never shows you off to her friends. You hardly know any important person in her life. This type is obviously hiding you from other men.

A model illustrates the "Ms I have nothing to hide". Often, such may be having a lot to hide. PHOTO | PEXEL

You're definitely not alone and that's why she cannot risk you and other men in her life getting to know each other. Or her friends getting to know that you're also in her life. 

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