Njugush narrates dramatic attack by armed robbers in Nairobi CBD

Comedian Timothy Kimani alias Njugush filed a police report at Central Police Station in Nairobi after being robbed. He narrated the order of events in two posts on his Instagram stories.

He encountered a middle-aged woman who was limping around midnight along University Way.

"I slow down. She smells alcohol but I guess ni stress so I lower my window. She says she has kids who've not eaten for days... she doesn't beg but it has bitten each other so she had no choice."

Woman begs for food

The woman asked him to give her food if he had some in the car asserting that she did not want a monetary donation. 

"She looks beat... she told me she fends for herself but because of an accident she had, she's forced to beg. She tells me ata hataki pesa kama niko na food na niko na food niko nayo kwa gari nimpatie... (she tells me she does not want money but requested for food  if I had food in the car)."

"At this point, I'm convinced, the [the straw that broke the camel's back] iko hapa. She says, ebu fungua mlango uone kama huamini. (she asked me to open my door if I did not believe her)."

Two suspect thieves recognise him

Njugush opened car door and this is when all hell broke loose. Two other men approached him from the co-drivers side.

"I'm like I have kids and I think I'm convinced but just to see how maybe I can come through ... I open the door... washalalalal kitanzi shashaaa  ololoiayeee, ghafla bin fu, two guys came in from my co-driverside and that's when I knew it has bitten each other..."

The lady then allegedly threatened she would accuse the comedian of attempted rape if he dared scream.

Attempted rape

"The lady says ukiitana nitapiga nduru niseme unataka kunirape. by the time najaribu kufikiria cinema kali nishawahi watch kisu ilikuwa kwa kahasho from newly found co-driver."

The two men recognised him and even jested that he (Njugush) would make them laugh given that is his area of expertise.

"Sasa guys at this point nikajua baaaas so the co-driver goes like ala Njugush. leo tutacheka. They say they won't be hard on me but their kids lazima wakule."

"Kwanza simu nikapeana, then nikawaambia labda wabebe costumes zilikua kwa gari, nikawekelewa kofi ile bladifwakini (firstly, I gave out my phone then I told them they could take his costumes. They slapped me a good one) ... so chap chap nikaitishwa mpesa pin (they quicky asked me for my Mpesa pin) by this time they are talking profanities."

As they were transferring money from his phone to theirs via M-pesa, Njugush had been ordered to drive around town. 

"They told me where to stop and the two lads alighted first. I saw my phone on her right hand. I tried grabbing my phone from her hand and it fell down on the back left side."

"I knew that was my que to speed as the guys had started coming back towards us and off I left straight to Central."

The comedian has cautioned his fans against opening their doors if they encounter a similar experience.

"Lakini kukaribishwa Nairobi nayo nimekaribishwa mara kadhaa,' he jested.