Allison Holker is still navigating the emotional and financial challenges left in the wake of Stephen “tWitch” Boss’ tragic passing.

In her new memoir, This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light,

The widow of the Ellen DeGeneres Show star reveals the unexpected financial burdens she faced after his death by suicide in December 2022 at age 40.

Holker dispels the misconception that she inherited wealth from her late husband, instead detailing how his financial decisions left her in a difficult position.

“He had given away substantial sums of money to family and friends and spent recklessly on drugs and his weird art collections,”

she writes in the memoir, released on Feb. 4. “The tax bill that he left me with for the year he died was $1 million.”

Painful reality and lingering hardships

The So You Think You Can Dance alum, now 36, further reveals that tWitch did not have a will at the time of his death.

She explains that throughout their nine-year marriage, they maintained separate bank accounts, leaving her with the burden of sorting out his remaining debts.

“I had been under the impression that the arrangement was working just fine,” she shares.

“He managed his income, and I managed mine, and we divvied up the bills. Easy-peasy. Or so I thought.”

However, after settling the debts, his accounts were left depleted, and Holker found herself struggling to maintain financial stability while raising their three children—Weslie, 16, Maddox, 8, and Zaia, 5.

Despite the financial struggles, Holker admits that dealing with the estate provided a temporary distraction from her overwhelming grief.

Yet, the weight of the situation remains heavy.

“Stephen left me with double the work, double the noise, double the hardships, double the confusion—and half the household earnings,” she expresses.

“If he had known how much of our hard-earned money would go to pay lawyers’ fees to clean up the mess he left me with, would it have made any difference? I’d like to believe it would have.”

Defending her truth amid backlash

Following the book’s release, Holker faced criticism from members of tWitch’s inner circle, including his brother, Dré Rose, and his mother, Connie Boss Alexander.

In response, she took to Instagram Stories to defend her decision to share her story.

“I want to be clear that my only intention in writing the book is to share my own story as well as part of my life with Stephen to help other people,” she clarified.

“If you decide to read the book, hopefully you’ll see my intention is to celebrate the love and life I shared with Stephen and our three beautiful children.”